Funny thing, I think people thought I was just sitting on my couch crying. Actually, NO, not that there wasn't, hasn't been, or isn't still sometimes crying, BUT LIFE GOES ON. That week alone we had Blast Ball Games, Farm Field Day, Livie's school music program, I was in charge of Livie's class Easter Party, snack days, AWANA, Dance and ball practice. I had a few people want to come over and give me a hug, and I was like I'm actually headed to Walton to hide Easter Eggs, but Thank You. As we all very well know, LIFE DOES not STOP just because we're going through something.
In fact, here is what we did D Day night. D day is what Jed has affectionately named the day we found out our little boy has Down syndrome. After all, we did have a new mattress to put on, and one to get rid of!!
I received so much sweet support, books and this package from the Down Syndrome Guild of Kansas City
http://www.kcdsg.org/ which was AWESOME. It included onesies, a teddy bear, tons of books, 2 of which I had rented through inter-library loan and was wondering how I would finish them on time, DVDs and more. It was my Welcome Basket.
Lots of Inspiration...
One of my favorite scriptures shared with me... it now hangs on my refrigerator!
Romans 15:13
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the
Holy Spirit.
Apparently, I need to read,
One Thousand Gifts by: Ann Voskamp. This book was shared by more than one person. As my reading list is extensive, I have not yet done this; however, I have liked her page on Facebook. She shares inspiration daily.
Another friend shared what had been shared with her,
"Find a Verse that defines this pregnancy and this baby."
Psalm 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
How to Move On....
We all deal with things in different ways. Some people throw themselves into work, some cry, some are super tough, some withdraw and more. I believe you must, as I have said, "Give yourself time to grieve." (whatever that may look like for you) However, what I did and have been doing that has helped me the MOST is taking...
ONE STEP AT A TIME!
Things we are going through can consume and overwhelm us; therefore, that is why I suggest one step and one day at a time!!
Here's how I have prioritized my worries... it's very scientific! :)
THE THING THAT HAS KEPT ME AWAKE WORRYING IN THE NIGHT HAS BEEN MY FIRST PRIORITY THE NEXT DAY.
See, I told you, very scientific, but it works for me.
1st, it was therapy for my baby. I knew where I wanted him to go, and I knew there was a waiting list, so I did what it took to get him enrolled in therapy, and as you may have read he is officially, "The 1st Fetus ever enrolled in their program!" Great Feeling
Next Concern, INSURANCE. If insurance doesn't intimidate and frustrate you, kudos to you!! I have spent countless hours on the phone with insurance. My agent knows my voice! :0 I checked into everything they would and would not pay... different plans that may better meet our needs, and all of the doctors we will or may be using in the future to ensure they were covered on our plan.
Doctors: Next, I talked to people and found out who I wanted my baby's pediatrician to be. It was very important to me that he or she be very familiar with children with Down syndrome and their specific needs, as well as personable. We are already on his patient list, and I have actually moved my daughters to him so we are able to just go to one place. I also made sure he was covered by our insurance.
Do I cry when I read the difficult and many health concerns for my Baby...
ABSOLUTELY. Do I still get down when I think about things that will be tough for him... ABSOLUTELY,
BUT, when you get your head above water, 1 thing will start to return....
the baby, the excitement of being pregnant, wondering about normal things like will he look like my girls or maybe me this time? Rather than worrying about the markers he might have, or the things he might struggle with. Will it be different? I'm sure I have no idea, but
the fact remains we are having a little boy, and THAT is VERY EXCITING.
You should see his Adorable, Tough room. It's almost done, and then I'll do a reveal.
One more thing I want to address, GOD.
Some people blame God, and I understand that. You have a natural reaction to say, "Why Me, God?" "Why does my little boy have to struggle with Down syndrome?" I want to say two things about this.
#1. Don't blame the wrong person. If you want to know what God wants for us, think of Heaven. He even sacrificed His SON, so that we may get to that perfect place where there is no suffering. That is what He wants for us. Now, Satan also exists, and is constantly trying to get us to doubt our Heavenly Father, but remember what He did to adopt us as His children. Think about how you feel about your own children or the people you love, and remember you are God's child. He loves you like that!!
#2. There are always crossroads in our lives, and we have choices to make. I could turn against God, Blame Him and be Bitter the rest of my Life, but quite frankly that doesn't sound very fun. It's not the example I want to set for my children, and it doesn't seem like a Happy Way to live. On the other hand, I can allow God to help me through this.
Isaiah 66:13
As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted..."
And when in doubt,
Play Pirate Princesses!! AARRRRRGH!
